And Now
by blackmoon9793
Summary: The Past 2013. Four months later, the six of them are all still trying to make it work. A continuation of Asghar Farhadi's film "Le passé."


_This is just a little continuation following the events of _Le passé_, Asghar Farhadi's beautiful 2013 French film. If you haven't had the privilege of seeing it yet, be warned that this one-shot basically spoils the whole thing. Sorry. I also apologize for the weird page breaks, but FFN wouldn't let me do it any other way._

Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form affiliated with Memento Films, Canal+, Ciné+, Eurimages, France 3 Cinéma, or any of the cast or crew of this picture.

* * *

Marie is tolerant. Life wears on, and just as the child grows stronger inside of her she becomes more assured of her choices. Her life is good. Not perfect, but good. Things will not change; at least, they will not change anytime soon. Samir and Fouad live with her, Lucie and Léa acclimate, and they all bear on together. That is how it is, and it isn't going to change if she can help it.

She knows Samir can never love her completely, love her entirely with the fullness of his soul. She knows that. What's more, she understands. Marie has never asked him to choose between her and Céline, because that would be cruel and unthinkable. How could a man ever really decide between a woman standing before him, ready and willing to love him and give him a family, and the dream of a woman with whom his time was cut short? Marie can be the person he needs, and she will be. It's for the best.

She isn't a fool. Whatever the past marriages might say about her, Marie could never be described as naïve. She knows she can't love Samir completely, either. She has been through this too many times with too many men, giving them her whole heart only to have it returned incomplete. Samir is a good man, a better man than she was likely to find, but Marie knows very well that he has the power to break her. She can't do it again.

So Marie keeps a part of herself to herself. She likes to think she's keeping her wits about her this time. He knows, she's sure, but that's alright. Surely he knows what she knows, that what they have is so much better than loving someone who would leave you and never give you any love at all. Part of her wants to blame Ahmad for this mess, but she knows she's just as responsible. She knew what she was asking when she got involved with a married man. Yes, Marie withholds some of herself from him, but when it comes down to it she does honestly love him. It isn't very pretty, and it's not nearly as romantic as she thought it would be in the beginning so many months ago, but it works and it's what they both need, she thinks.

She's trying. She doesn't get as angry as she used to, or at least she tries not to. The baby has been slowing her down a lot more lately as she gets closer to her third trimester. Will it be a boy? That would be nice, a little boy like Fouad with eyes that look more like hers. Marie hardly smokes anymore, either, only when she really, really has to.

And what's more, she has learned to ignore it when Samir pulls away from her. That hasn't really changed, but she lets it pass now. He has the right to keep some things to himself, even if it does hurt that those parts of him are reserved for Céline. But Marie remembers what it's like to be married, what it's like to be someone's wife, and she finds that she just doesn't have the energy to begrudge him that anymore.

But it's okay. Everything is okay. Everything is going to be okay. Marie has her family, she has her children around her, and she knows she can go on this way for as long as need be.

* * *

Lucie is trying. She hates what happened, how it all came out, but the new family motto seems to be "what's done is done," so she bears on.

Everything is alright with her mother, she thinks. Marie has certainly calmed down since the divorce. It still doesn't seem right, that she's having this new baby with a man she can't marry, can't be a wife to, but Lucie has realized that that may be exactly what her mother needs. She wants permanence, Lucie does, and it took a lot of nights of sitting up thinking into the early hours of the morning to realize that her mother can never provide her with that. Maybe that why she wants to be with Samir: they can't make anything official. They only thing ever definite between the two of them is the children. Lucie's realized if she wants something permanent, she's going to have to make it for herself.

It was harder with Samir. Even after Marie explained everything, after Ahmad went back to Tehran and things went back to whatever normal was, she still had trouble with him. Samir had been better than she thought he would be. He had sat her down not long after Ahmad left, almost like a father, and told her he didn't blame her for what happened to his wife and even understood why she had done it. She didn't have the right, that much was made clear, but Samir understood that she had thought the clandestine nature of his relationship with her mother was wrong.

She didn't want to push him – after all, things were so very precarious in her mother's house – but Lucie knew he must be struggling, too. Something in his eyes let escape just a little bit of pain. Of course he is hurting, too, of course this isn't what he wanted either. But it was the lot they had all been dealt, and it seemed Lucie was the last to accept that.

So she tried. She ate meals at the table with him and answered when he spoke, even if she never asked him much of anything in return. He would drive her to school sometimes on his way to the cleaners when the winter slush started piling up on the sidewalks. They never said much, but it wasn't uncomfortable. And a few weeks before, he had sat with her at the kitchen table and talked her through the most recent ultrasound pictures once the little kids were done with them. Lucie liked that. She kind of likes him. Samir wasn't such a bad guy, in the end. He just needed someone to belong to.

Lucie knows that she's the one who's going to have to make this work. If this family is going to prosper, she needs to be the one to buck up and hold it together. Her mother and Samir both carry too much weight, so she's going to have to be the permanent one.

* * *

Léa is confused. Ever since Ahmad went back to his country, she can tell that something isn't right. No one ever talks about what was in those emails. She doesn't know if it's Lucie's fault Fouad's mommy killed herself or not. Nobody talks.

Something's not quite right, but she doesn't know what. Mama doesn't scream or smoke as much as she used to now that her stomach has gotten so big with the baby, but she isn't the same. Her quiet isn't a comforting quiet. Samir and Lucie seem to have made peace, but Léa doesn't think they're friends. He doesn't seem mad at her sister, but Mama sure was. Were they just not going to talk about it? Should she pretend it never happened?

She likes Samir. He's always tired when he gets home from the store – because the girl that replaced Naïma still isn't very good – but on the days he doesn't go in until later he's really nice. Really strict, but still really nice. He's been less tense since Ahmad left, but still kind of sad. Léa can tell he tries not to be sad around her and Fouad, though.

Léa misses Ahmad, but she understands why he had to go. He's from Tehran, and they're from Paris. Home is best for him. He was much happier this visit than the last time she saw him, but Léa can't remember before he moved all that well. Another thing no one talks about.

Lucie's quieter, too. When she used to not talk, she was still saying how upset she was. Now she just doesn't have anything to say. Léa wants to know what changed her mind. Was it something Ahmad said? Why did he talk to her, and not Léa? Had she missed something? Were there questions she should be asking?

Something still isn't right, even if everyone acts like it is. Léa just wants someone to explain everything to her, but no one will. It's not fair.

* * *

Fouad is happy. Everything is so much nicer than it used to be. Marie doesn't yell as much. Lucie comes home more and doesn't try to leave at night. Papa stops asking if he wants to go see Mama in the hospital. Léa is quieter and doesn't want to play as much, but it isn't very nice outside anyway.

They're all a real family now. At least, Fouad thinks they are since Marie isn't married to that Ahmad anymore. She and Papa aren't married, but that's because Mama is still plugged into the machines. But he doesn't like to think about that. It's okay, though, that they aren't married, Fouad thinks. He knows Marie loves them and that Papa loves Marie, even if they never say it to each other. Papa is different with Marie. So, it doesn't matter that they can't get married, because they're all still a family. Especially with the new baby.

Fouad is excited about the baby. He wasn't sure at first; he had never been around babies, and neither had Léa so she didn't know either. But he liked the thought of being a big brother. Lucie is Léa's big sister, and even though they fight sometimes Fouad can tell that Léa loves her so much.

Papa has stopped always asking him if he would prefer to go back to their house above the dry cleaners. It's nicer here, with the yard and the street. And here Marie takes care of him. She's more tired now, but Papa says that's because the baby takes more energy the bigger it gets. But that's okay, too, because now Marie gives even tighter hugs and lets him take naps with her in the afternoon when he gets home from school.

He doesn't tell Papa that he doesn't miss Mama, because he knows that would hurt Papa's feelings. But Mama wanted to go, and now they have Marie. Sometimes, when it's just the two of them or just them and Léa, he calls her Mama. She doesn't mind. Fouad thinks she probably even likes it because she always smiles and kisses the top of his head. He knows things will change in the spring when the baby comes, because babies cry all the time and need lots of attention, but somehow Fouad knows that Marie will still love him just like she'll still love Lucie and Léa.

Maybe once the baby comes he'll be able to tell Papa how it is with Marie. Maybe once she has the baby Papa will understand that they're a real family.

* * *

Ahmad is home. Yes, Tehran is definitely home, this last visit to Paris reaffirmed that. Everything is so familiar: the sights, the smells, the sounds, the people. He is connected to everything here, he is a part of everything. This is what he needs.

But the winter is always hard on him, be it in Iran or France. The darker days, the colder temperatures, they pull him back to a place he doesn't want to go. But he is home, and he is good.

He can't help but feel like he abandoned the girls, though. There was a time when they were very much his girls, and he knows that something is not right in that house. Things are not the way they should be between Marie and her new fiancé, but then again their entire relationship was inappropriate. Alone in Tehran, Ahmad can judge them, and Marie had really made a mess of things this time. Of course that man would take care of her, he obviously has a strong sense of responsibility if not fidelity, but Ahmad couldn't say for sure if he could love her. Or if Marie could love him, for that matter. And they had involved their children and this new baby….

But the girls. Lucie was so alone and it didn't seem like there was anyone she could turn to. Maybe by now she and her mother have patched things up, but Ahmad doesn't think Lucie will ever be comfortable in that house. Little Léa hid her confusion well, but Ahmad could tell the whole situation bewildered her.

He loves Marie, he always has, but she is not a woman he can share his life with. She's too dissimilar, too far away. On some level, he knows she knows that, but it's so hard to admit. But she has her new life now, new man, new baby, new awful paint job on her walls. She'll persevere.

It's the girls he's worried about. Samir had made it very clear he was looking out for his son's best interests, but who then was looking out for the girls? Marie certainly wasn't. But then again, they aren't Ahmad's responsibility. He had been like a father to them once, but he never was their father. He knows in his heart he made the right decision returning to Iran four years ago; he didn't need to slowly erode away in Paris, and the Brissons didn't need to watch him do it. Iran was for the best for everyone.

But Ahmad just can't shake the feeling there was something more he could have done.

* * *

Samir is resigned. His life is what it is; he's made his choices, and now he has to face the consequences. He finally acquiesced and moved Fouad into Marie's house full time. No going back. It will be easier in the long run, he knows, with the new baby on the way. Fouad should be with his new brother or sister, and Marie's girls were kind of his sisters already.

Things are better at the house. Léa still has her misgivings, he knows, but she seems unbothered by him. She was always the easy one. Lucie is better, too. After Ahmad went back to Tehran they reached common ground. The girl had tortured herself and was genuinely sorry for what she thought she did, and Samir couldn't blame her for that. An angrier version of him might have thought she had no right to interfere in his and her mother's lives like that, but he was beginning to realize just how deeply the affair was affecting Marie's children as well as his. He would never parent Lucie, not that she would let him if he tried, but they got along now. They could be content together, and that was all he asked.

He and Marie had decided the new baby would be a surprise. They need a happy surprise, and whether the baby is a boy or a girl just having it will be happy. For whatever it's worth Samir loves his unborn child, absolutely loves it. He just hates that this is how it came to be. He's fortunate, he knows, to get this second chance. He never talks about the baby's gender with Marie, but deep down Samir knows he wants a daughter. That's how he always imagined it, a son and a daughter. He just always pictured his little girl looking like Céline.

His wife is still in her coma and she's going to stay that way. They tell him she's unlikely to ever wake, but there's a chance. There's still hope. And for that reason Samir can't let her go. It's selfish, he knows, because if she couldn't bear to live before he could only imagine how she would react to the hell that is waiting for her if she awakes. But he can't give up on her. Marie has accepted this, that he needs the both of them to sustain himself. And yes, it isn't fair to any of them, but that's the way it is. They all made mistakes, and now they are all going to pay the price.

It isn't that he doesn't love Marie. He does. It's just not the kind of love he had with Céline. It isn't terribly romantic anymore, but then again the romance fell out of his marriage as well. There's a part of Samir still clinging to the past, but the bigger part of him is trying to live in the now. Which is Marie. He does love her. She's always taken care of him and given him just the amount of love he needs. And now she does so with Fouad, and he can tell she will do the same with the child she's carrying. Marie isn't the best mother, he can see that, but she has love in her heart enough for all of them.

There are moments when he does feel whole. When he comes home late from the cleaners and the house is quiet. He'll make his way to Marie's room – _their room_ – in the dark and find her asleep with her back to the door. Nights like this, Samir doesn't even bother to undress; he climbs into bed and wraps an arm around Marie's stomach, pulling her and their child to the curve of his body and holding them close. Moments like this, he thinks his life will go on, that there is a future for him, for Fouad, for all of them. He can build a life in that house with Marie and their family. He can give them everything.

But he can't. He knows he can't. Samir knows it hurts her. The days when he can't look her in the eye because the guilt of how wrongly they have both behaved is too overwhelming. When he goes from being happy about the baby to pensive that it will be born in violation of his wedding vows. He never intended to have a child without first marrying its mother. But the alternatives were unacceptable.

This is the best Samir can do, and he's fairly certain it's the best Marie can do as well. And right now, that's all that matters. Right now, there can only be right now because if there is anything else they lose the plot and lose each other. The children are happy, for the most part. He and Marie are happy, for the most part. They just have to take it a day at a time. They can do this. At least until they can't.


End file.
